Faith.....

Well I have made it to 26 wks.  Praise God for that!  Every week that this baby girl stays in my belly is truly a blessing from God.  I know that he is the reason this baby is progressing.  I had alot of problems with my cervix shortening early when I was pregnant with my now 5 yo DD.  But this time my cervix is long and closed and doing great.  It is a true miracle!  I have been so worried instead of relying on God.  I truly believe in my heart that this baby is the one we are going to get to keep.  I know that God has his protection over this baby.  I need to learn to rely on that a little bit more and stop stressing out over every little twinge. 

We are having a really hard time naming this baby.  DH and I agreed from when we started that we would use a biblical name..  However we were really considering Isabella because it means "God's promise"...  The other names we are considering are Faith (abiding trust and acceptance of God's will), Amber (the color of God's glory), and Hannah (for who she was in the bible - I feel like I can relate..

My husband and I agreed that we would finalize her name tomorrow after my u/s to check my placenta (which was low lying at my last u/s).  He has been so afraid to name her because the day we named Grace was the same day we lost her.  I could use thoughts and prayers tomorrow for wisdom in giving our precious gift from God the perfect name.... 


If you are interested in why I am thinking of using the name Hannah this is what I found....    I think it speaks volumes...

Perhaps one of the most famous women of the Bible, Hannah demonstrates strengths which are often overlooked. Her story reveals the pain many women experience of not being "enough", yet she shows courage and faith to overcome that pain.


1 Samuel 1:1-2:





There was a certain man of Ramathaim, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham son of Elihu son of Tohu son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. He had two wives; the name of the one was Hannah, and the name of the other Peninnah . Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children.

Hannah faced several serious problems. First her husband had another wife, a wife who gave Elkanah something Hannah couldn't-children. More Hannah had a deep desire for children. We can take a feminist attitude, and say this desire came from societal pressures, or we can take a human attitude that says Hannah simply wanted to be a mother to her own children. Either way, this woman experienced a pain many women today share--she was barren. Sadly, women today still face the same societal pressures Hannah faced. A heartrending longing for a child by an infertile woman (or man) wounds, yet a Christian culture that defines women solely by the biological "purpose" of childbirth can provide the death blow to a broken spirit. We must be aware of the Hannahs in our midst when we preach that a woman's place is child rearing. We must remember only God Himself creates us, and only God Himself can give us purpose.



1 Samuel 1:3-9:





Now this man used to go up year by year from his town to worship and to sacrifice to the LORD of hosts at Shiloh, where the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were priests of the LORD. On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters ; but to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the LORD had closed her womb. Her rival used to provoke her severely, to irritate her, because the LORD had closed her womb. So it went year by year; as often as she went up to the house of the LORD, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat. Her husband Elkanah said to her, 'Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? Why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?'

Again we see how Hannah's story mirrors the experiences of modern women. Elkanah really tried to make up for Hannah's loss. He gave her the double portion. Peninnah picked on Hannah, "because LORD had closed her womb." How many times have well meaning Christians provoked modern Hannah's? "Well, dear, if you'd just pray a little more, I'm sure God would give you a child," we sometimes hear. Or, "You just need to clean up that sin in your life, dear." Remember this went on for years. When we know the gist of the story, we may think, "Oh, it was so easy, Hannah just went to the Lord in prayer and her problem was solved." But Hannah had experienced this "year by year".



Hannah's story also reminds us to use discernment when dealing with a problem. In the church it is popular right now to give Satan and sin credit for everything "bad" in our lives. We hear that satang steals this from us, or took away that. We're told we should demand those things back or "storm the gates of hell to take back what he took". Well, not everything we don't like in our life can be laid at the enemy's door. Satan hadn't prevented Hannah from having children. Several times the Bible says, "the LORD closed her womb." Just because we don't like something, doesn't mean its not part of God's "good plan" for our lives. Hannah's infertility lead to the founding of Samuel's ministry. Samuel anointed David. Without Hannah's infertility, her vow and her obedience Samuel wouldn't have been raised in the house of the Lord and wouldn't have anointed David.



Elkanah shows us we also need discernment in dealing with people. He shows what happens when we lose patience with people. "Why do you weep?" he asked, knowing full well why. "Am I not more than enough to you than ten sons?" "Look at everything else you have," might be a modern response. Not only does Elkanah demonstrate self-absorption (did he really think he was better than ten sons?), but a lack of understanding. Since he had sons, he couldn't understand Hannah's grief. He couldn't experience compassion, because he'd never experienced lack. Today, when I watch members of my church, I find compassion most earnestly expressed by those who have overcome drug addictions, homelessness and criminal histories. These are the people who have experienced lack. People like me, who have grown up in the safety and security of the church tend to be less understanding--because we've never gone without spiritually, we tend not to have compassion for those who experience lack.



1 Samuel 1:9-11:





After they had eaten and drunk at Shiloh, Hannah rose and presented herself before the LORD. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat beside the doorpost of the temple of the LORD. She was deeply distressed and prayed to the LORD, and wept bitterly. She made this vow: 'O LORD of hosts, if only you will look on the misery of your servant, and remember me, and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a male child, then I will set him before you as a nazirite until the say of his death, He shall drink neither wine nor intoxicants, and no razor shall touch his head.'

Hannah has an intense time with the Lord. We can see she has literally poured out her heart to Him. We all have our own church cultures, and I do not mock any of them. But I get the image of someone from one of the old time black gospel churches laying it all out in the middle of St Peter's Basilica. Hannah hurt, and she wasn't going to pretend before her God that everything was OK. She bled and wanted God to tend her wound.



She makes a vow. Often Hannah's vow has been used to support restricting women--people say that Hannah's vow wasn't valid until Elkanah agrees to it. Keep an eye out for Elkanah's "agreement" as we go through the Scriptures.



1 Samuel 1:12-14:





As she continued praying before the LORD, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was praying silently; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard; therefore Eli thought she was drunk. So Eli said to her, 'How long will you make a drunk spectacle of yourself? Put away your wine.'

This story reminds us to look at our own faults before we look at the faults of others. Elkanah couldn't see that his disobedience in having two wives caused the women pain and conflict. Eli, priest and prophet of God, had spent so little time with God he couldn't even distinguish prayer from drunkenness. We would have expected understanding from these two--one the understanding of compassion and the other spiritual understanding; yet both lacked that understanding. Eli's lack of familiarity with his Lord would cause him problems later in his life.



1 Samuel 1:15-16:





But Hannah answered, 'No, my lord, I am a woman deeply troubled; I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring my soul before the LORD. Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation all this time.'

How many times have you gone to church, poured our your heart and sorrows to the Lord...only to have some tell you not to be emotional, or not to make a scene? Many times we are like Eli, more concerned that someone not "make a spectacle" of themselves, than honoring someone's devotion to the Lord or sharing their pain.



1 Samuel 1:17-18:





Then Eli answered, 'Go in peace; the God of Israel grant the petition you have made to him.' Then the woman went to her quarters, ate and drank with her husband, and her countenance was no longer sad.

Back to the vow issue. Notice that Eli offers no instruction to Hannah about a vow or telling her husband. Eli, the priest and prophet, doesn't seem concerned about Hannah gaining permission for the vow.



1 Samuel 1:19-20:





They rose early in the morning and worshiped before the LORD; then they went back to their house at Ramah. Elkanah knew his wife Hannah and the LORD remembered her. In due time Hannah conceived and bore a son. She named him Samuel, for she said, 'I have asked him of the LORD.'

God honored Hannah's request and she bore a son. Again, we see that the Lord did wait until Elkanah acknowledged Hannah's vow. Instead He acted on the force of Hannah's word.



1 Samuel 1:21-23:





The man Elkanah and all his household went up to offer the LORD the yearly sacrifice, and to pay his vow. But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, 'As soon as the child is weaned, I will bring him, that he may appear in the presence of the LORD, and remain there forever; I will offer him as a nazirite for all time.'

Elkanah goes up to make the yearly sacrifice (its that vow he pays not Hannah's.) But Hannah decides not to go. Hannah decides to wean the child. Hannah tells her husband she is give the child up as a nazirite. This woman isn't waiting for her husband to act, to decide. She has made decisions, and is going to act on them. More, this is the first time the Bible records her telling Elkanah that Samuel will be a nazirite. So how does Elkanah respond?



1 Samuel 1:23:





Her husband Elkanah said to her, "Do what seems best to you, wait until you have weaned him; only--may the LORD establish his word.' So the woman remained and nursed her son, until she weaned him.

Some have claimed this was Elkanah validating Hannah's vow. If so, he seems somewhat lackadaisical about it. If on the other hand, "Do what seems best to you" refers to Hannah staying home that year to wait while the child is weaned (as he states) then it makes more sense.



1 Samuel 1:24-28:





When she had weaned him, she took him up with her, along with a three-year-old bull, an ephah of flour, and a skin of wine. She brought him to the house of the LORD at Shiloh; and the child was young. Then they slaughtered the bull, and they brought the child to Eli. And she said, 'Oh my lord! As you live, my lord, I am the woman who was standing here in your presence praying to the LORD. For this child I prayed; and the LORD has granted me the petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the LORD; as long as he lives, he is given to the LORD.'

"She left him there fore the LORD.

Hannah did a number of things preachers today tell women we can't. She approached the Lord with her problem directly. Many times we're told women must go through their husband's, the "household priests" (no, the Bible doesn't link husbands with priests). She made a vow before the Lord, a vow with great spiritual impact not only for herself, but for all of Israel. One God answered her, she fulfilled her part of the vow. She, alone, took her son to the temple, with the appropriate sacrifices, and offered him to the Lord. Faith, decision-making, and covenant keeping are only a few of Hannah's strengths.



Hannah also composed one of the most beautiful prayers of the Bible.



1 Samuel 2:1-10:





Hannah prayed and said, 'My heart exults in the LORD; my strength is exalted in my God. My mouth derides my enemies, because I rejoice in my victory. There is no Holy One like the LORD, no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God. Talk no more so very proudly, let no arrogance come from your mouth; for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed. The bows of the mighty are broken, but the feeble gird on strength. Those who were full have hired themselves our for bread, but those who were hungry are fat with spoil. The barren has borne seven, but she who has many children is forlorn. The LORD kills and brings to life; he brings down to Sheol and raises up. The LORD makes poor and makes rich; he brings low, he also exalts. He raises up the poor from the dust; he lifts the needy from the ash heap, to make them sit with princes and inherit a seat of honor. For the pillars of the earth are the LORD's, and on them he has set the world. He will guard the feet of his faithful ones, but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness; for not by might does one prevail. The LORD! His adversaries shall be shattered; the Most High will thunder in heaven. The LORD will judge the ends of the earth; he will give strength to his king, and exalt the power of his anointed.

Wow. Some of us may be surprised to learn this militant passage was written by Hannah. Many times we think of Hannah as a weepy, demure, overly shy woman sniffling in the back row of the church when Eli saw her. Yet, this passage reveals a woman of strong passions--downright blood thirsty passions at that! This passage reveals a woman deeply in-tune with God. Her words show her to be a prophetess, a great praise leader and a true servant of the Lord. Through out these verses she shows us, that in order to be conquerors we must first be broken. "He raises up the poor from the dust; he lifts the needy from the ash heap, to make them sit with princes and inherit a seat of honor." She reminds us not to be arrogant, for God will judge us. She also reminds us that God is always faithful, and always a refuge. Only someone who has experienced a lack, who has felt a need as Hannah did, could understand her LORD as her provider and refuge. Finally, one of my favorite lines, "My mouth derides my enemies, because I rejoice in my victory". Hannah didn't have to belittle Peninnah or anyone else--all she had to do was praise God for what He did for her.



The last reference we have to Hannah is in 1 Samuel 2, where we see a mothers' devotion.



2 Samuel 2:19 "His mother used to make for him a little robe and take it to him each year, when she went up with her husband to offer the yearly sacrifice. Then Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, and say, 'May the LORD repay you with children by this woman for the gift that she made to the LORD'; and then they would return to their home.

"And the LORD took note of Hannah; she conceived and bore three sons and two daughters. And the boy Samuel grew up in the presence of the LORD."