I have been MIA lately...

But I do have great updates...  My pregnancy is progressing well.  I just had my appt yesterday and we got to hear the heartbeat!  It was the most beautiful sound in the world..  And gave me some reassurance that maybe just maybe we will get to keep this baby.

But after a pregnancy loss it robs you of the joy of a new healthy pregnancy.  I am constantly worried that something is going to happen.  My BP is up at the dr's office every time just because of stress and worry.   Its so unfair that now that a pregnancy is going well Im robbed of that pregnancy joy.. 

I can tell you that I absoulutely appreciate being pregnant alot more now.  Im not taking one second for granted.  Every morning when I wake up I say a prayer of thankfulness to God for giving us another chance at having the baby we desire.  And thank him for another day with no pregnancy related problems (besides the normal symptoms).  I am alot more thankful for each day of pregnancy.    I think its so important for me to remember that this baby is truly a gift from God.

I recently had an amazing thing happen that I wanted to share with you.  You may think Im crazy but I promise you it really happened...  This was back in December right after finding out I was pregnant...

My best friend had a dream about a baby Sat night. (in her words) Or maybe more like a vision. It was in the early hours of the morning...and very odd. You were there, your kids were mentioned so I couldn't be sure exactly who's baby and what year...but I think it is this one.


I am still not sure what it all means. After the vision a name flashed in my head, then a voice kind put in my mind "honoring the three lost, and the father/son/and spirit. It put into my mind (no words, just the thought) that this child was destined for something so great in her life that things had to happen the way they did or she might not have been born. I almost freaked out.

Her name was Faith Trinity Fozzy. Faith for the faith you had in God to keep trying, and trinity for the 3 losses you suffered to make this little miracle happen. Girl she was SO beautiful…..it was so weird. It was a hospital and it was more of a vision than a dream. I was holding her in my arms, I heard Mikaylas voice and your mom so I am sure it was yours. She was perfect girl. Then it kinda went foggy and I heard the voice tell me her name. Girl I thought I was going to crawl up the wall it scared me so much. It was a lovely male voice and he said “Faith Trinity” to remember those lost and your undying faith. Then it said she would be a miracle to the world, that it all had to be this way so she was born….then I sat up and the vision went away!

It sent a chill up my spine because in July of this year (July 17th to be exact) I made a blog entry about the following


I actually had considered Faith for a long time.. Here is a blog entry I made July 17th!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is spooky! Maybe its Gods way of telling me that this one is going to be ok and its going to be a girl and her name is to be faith! I am just sitting here stunned!


I was thinking about all that has happened and what would we name another baby if God chooses to bless us with one... And it came to me - if we get pg and its a girl we will name her Faith Katherine. Faith because faith is the only thing that has gotten me through the rough patches. Katherine because it was my grandmothers middle name and I loved her dearly.. What a beautiful name that would be. A boy I have no idea, but a girl is definitely Faith...

I have faith that everything will work out for the best. My faith was really shaken with my first loss in October 08, but it was definitely strengthened when I delivered Grace. I have felt closer to God than ever...

I am so glad that I have been able to "see" God during this... I dont know how people get through it without knowing Him..

I also had a dream Saturday night that I had just delivered a perfect little girl with blonde hair. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.. She was healthy and fine. And we named her Faith. (this was before my BFF ever told me about her dream)...

I am beginning to think that its God's way of telling me from other sources that everything will be ok this time. That or I am absolutely crazy. Im not sure I would believe this story if it hadnt happened to me..


So think me crazy if you will but I believe it was God's way of trying to give me peace and tell me that everything will be ok this time.