It's not a physical pain you can see. I don't walk with a limp or have a bruise or a cast.for you see I carry the pain of a broken heart. I walk everyday knowing that I have babies that never got to experience earth outside my belly. The went straight to heaven.
I'm glad you don't understand my pain, I just wish you would try to be sensitive to my feelings. I have a scar and a hole in my heart for each one of these babies that no medication will ever fix. You see when you lose a child, that child takes a piece of your heart with him/her. Time makes the pain less but it never goes away.
We are forced to mask our hurt, because talking about the loss of my child makes you uncomfortale, it's not widely talked about like cancer, or other physical things you can see. Is a hidde pain that we have to learn to live with. You see we will never ever be the same.
Don't tell me that I have three children I should love. I love them more than you know, and having them makes me realize what I am missing out on with the babies I lost. Having lost babies I know how precious life is and I thank God that he blessed me with earthly children.
Don't tell me to 'get over it' because you can never really get over it. People tell me I am getting back to normal but they only see what they want to see. They don't see my cry not my pillow on due dates or loss dates. They don't see the way a so g can bring me to tears because it reminds me of my precious babies. Tey don't feel the painn that I feel seeing other babies that are due when I was supposed to be. I'm not jealous, I'm a grieving mother.
When you see me having a down day don't give me a Lecture and say 'at least you didn't lose a full term baby.' it doesn't take away the pain of losing my baby. Six weeks or forty weeks I carried that child inside me and I am forever changed and will always grieve to some degree over that child(een). Give me a hug, squeeze my hand or just let me know you are there for me.
When I mention my child's name don't cringe. If it makes you uncomfortable hearing about it imagine how painful it was to live it. Acting like it didn't happen doesn't help me, neither does lecturing me or telling me how lucky I am. Be a friend and she me love. Talk about my child or at least let me talk about them because talking about them heals my heart. The child I lost want a mass of tissue in my uterus, it was my child from the minute I found out I was expecting. I know y don't understand because you didn't feel that child kick or see an ultrasound or feel pregnancy symptoms, you weren't there in the surgery room when they had to remove his perfect little body from my belly, but know that it did happen and try to be compassionate.
When I have a good day celebrate with me, laugh with me, but don't think that I have forgotten the pain I carry inside. See when you lose a child you lose a piece f your heart that y can never get back but would do anything to have it back.
I will carry my silent grief until the day I go to heaven and finally get to meet my babies face to face, and see my Lord who has held them for me. It will never show on my face, unless you see an occasional tear. But the women who walk with me, who know the pain I carry, and I will always have a special bond we never asked for. We know that heart-wrenching, life-changing pain of carrying a child that we didn't get to bring home with us. A child we didn't get to celebrate birthdays with or watch them grow and see their personalities develop, or see who they could have been. You see when I lost my child I not only lot a child, but I lost the future I had planned. Everything changed for me that awful day.
I am eternally grateful to the women, my best friends, who have walked this journey with Me, who have laughed with me, cried with me, and given me a shoulder to lean on when I didn't think I could make it through. You see these women will also have a very special place in my heart, because unlike many others I will meet, these women didn't judge me.
I pray that you will never know the pain I carry, for I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
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