Reflecting on the last year....

The question was asked on a message board yesterday "What were you doing a year ago." Boy it really made me think about how much has happened in the past year. A year ago today I had no idea that I would lose two babies. I had no idea what the future would hold, and how difficult it would be. I was blissfully pregnant, not knowing that someting could go wrong. I was completely ignorant to what would happen in the coming months...

In October I went for my first prenatal visit only to find that they didnt think the pregnancy was viable. Blighted ovum they said.. It ended with a D&C 3 days before Halloween.. :(

I got pg again in November. My first appt went well.. Other than some minor complications my pg was going well, until 18 weeks when everything changed.. March 24, 2009 I had to deliver my baby girl all too early because of an infection in my amniotic fluid... It was the worst day of my life.. And the day that everything changed...

I had been brought up in church all my life. And was active in my church and some activities. I was doing the right things.. But the day I lost Grace my faith completely changed. See until you have had to lean on God completely you dont understand true faith. I had nothing else, but my faith in God at that point.. I had to lean on him completely.

God became my rock during that time, and even though I had times where I was mad at him and didnt feel like talking to him I always did. When I was angry I told him, when I was sad I told him, when I was hurt I told him. And he carried me through all of it. Some days it was harder to see than others, but I now know that he was the one that carried me through the last year. No doubt about it in my mind. There is no way I could have gotten thru without him....

Our God is a good God no matter what you circumstances are in life. His promises are set in stone... He can help you through absolutely anything. And if you let him he can use your greatest hurts to be your greatest ministries... You just have to be available. God doesnt need your ability, just your availability..

Im not going to lie and say that the last year has been easy because it hasnt. I have been down a very rough road. But I can tell you that my faith is stronger than it was a year ago. That I have learned to really "let go and let God"...

I have come along way in my faith in the last year. And I have met some amazing women along the way. Women who have inspired me to keep going. Some that I have never met IRL.. Some I have that keep inspiring me daily. Even through the darkest time of my life God has continued to bless me.. Sometimes it was harder to see...

I wanted to share this video skit with you... It shows how easily we can get pulled away from God with things of the world.. Although I have never struggled with the things in this video. I have gotten pulled away from him at times... Just remember to keep your eye on Jesus!

May God bless each and everyone of you!