Had my D&C today....

I had my D&C today.  Im honestly so glad that it is over..  I am just glad that they were able to get "everything" out and maybe my body will get back to normal again...  This loss wasnt as difficult to deal with as the loss of Grace was.  I do believe that this baby was a life as I believe that life begins at conception.  But this time I knew there was a possibility of something not being right.  So I think I was more prepared this time.  I cried the day we found out (Monday) but I havent cried since..  I am just moving on...  It may bite me in the butt later. 

The D&C wasnt actually removing the fetus.  I unfortunately lost the baby Sunday night.  But the "associated pregnancy matter and debris" decided to make itself all nice and comfy in my uterus instead of expelling itself.  Note to my uterus "start cooperating please!" 

My pastor is announcing tonight at church that we just had our 3rd loss in a year.  I thought it would be better that he tell people because so many were hinting around to the fact that they thought I was pg.  I would rather him just tell them so I dont get asked that dreaded hurtful question "are you pregnant?"  I think that my church will be very supportive.  In fact I already talked to one lady that found out who was upset with me that I never told her I was pg again and she didnt know about my m/c until today..

With pregnancy and infant loss awareness day coming up October 15th I thought it appropriate to share what I have been going through.  Why should I suffer in silence at church? or with my family? or with my friends?  I dont want it to be taboo...  Miscarriage is too often a silent epidemic because we dont want to make other people uncomfortable when we talk about it.  Well guess what if they are uncomfortable talking about it, how uncomfortable do they think we are when we LIVE it.  I dont care if people at church are uncomfortable hearing about it.  I had to live it.  Thats just my opinion.  ::Steps off soapbox::

Tomorrow evening at my house our new bible study starts called "Life's healing choices".  Yah that was a coincidence right?  We have chosen to still have it here, although I will be a terrible hostess.   But I think it may be good for me to be around my church family.  And the good part is I dont have to teach the class, just participate..  Some people think I am crazy for still hosting the bible study after surgery today..  But I think it will be good.  I wont have to do anything, in fact they will probably be wanting to wait on me.  : ) 

Well here's to moving on..  Life goes on..  If there is one thing that I am thankful for is that I didnt have to go 18 wks before losing this one.  It was much easier to deal with at 6 wks than it would have been at 18 wks again..  (That would have killed me)...  Life does begin at conception so I know that I now have three angels in heaven, but I also know that they are in good hands.. 

I am looking forward to ttc again.   I hope that we are able to get pg more quickly this time.  And I think our chances will be better of a healthy pg because at least I will be starting with a "cleaned" out uterus.  Its like I had "Roto rooter" clean out the pipes..  LOL  We will see what happens I guess.  I am supposed to get the results tomorrow from the D&C today.. At the latest it will be Friday..  Hopefully all will go well and the results will be good and we can move on quickly from this. 

I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers of my IRL and online friends.  You guys are the absolute greatest!  I <3 you all...  I couldnt have made it through any of this without your support..