I got an invitation a while back to attend a rememberance service at the hospital where I delivered Grace.. I called and responded that I would be there. Now that the service is this coming Sunday I am having second thoughts. I am worried that all my progress will go down the tubes and that the service will "set me back" in my emotional healing.
I feel like I have made so much progress in the last 15 weeks. (Wow almost 4 months already..) What if it takes me back to all the new raw grief I felt when I first had Grace. What if it does more damage than good? What do I do? I dont know if I even want to go now. My 13 yo DD has expressed that she doesnt want to go, so I guess it would just be me & DH...
*Should I stay or should I go? na na na na the song is going thru my head.. Do I go and risk drudging up all the old pain? Or do I stay home and eventually look back and regret that I didnt go to honor Grace's memory?
This is really a tough decision to make. Unfortunately I have been in the greatest mood the last couple days and that could very well be contributing to the way I am feeling now. I guess I need to talk to DH about it and see what he thinks. We havent really talked about it other than saying we were going to go. I dont know if he even remembers that it is this weekend.
At this point I just dont know what to do. I am so confused. : (
YOu have to do what you feel is best for you and your healing. It may be good to go as some sort of closure, but I can deffinately see your reservations and how it could bring everything to the surface again.
ReplyDelete((hugs))