The waiting game....

I feel like I am trapped in a never-ending waiting game. First I was waiting to deliver Grace, then I was waiting to heal, waiting to go back to the dr, waiting to get the green light to TTC again, waiting to O, waiting to test, then AF showed, waiting to O again, waiting to test again, and now I am waiting to call the dr to see if he will do b/w to see if the HPT's are wrong. If I go get blood work done, then I will be WAITING again for the results..


I hate this "waiting game".. God knows I dont have patience for anything and now I am in the never-ending waiting game.. Why? Why does it have to be so hard? Why is it always "wait" for this and "wait" for that. I dont want to WAIT anymore! Why do we have to endure so much during this process? Shouldnt we get a "get out of watiting game free card" after we lose a baby? Havent we "paid our dues"? I think we should be an exception to the TTCAL process.

I think that we should have access to a special fairy who could wave her wand over our heads when we were physically ready to be pg again and it would be DONE, no waiting, no trying, we would just be pg!



Wouldnt that be great? I would catch her in a jar use her dust, and then pass her to everyone of my online friends who are ttc after losing a baby. I think that after surviving a miscarriage or pregnancy loss we deserve for something to be easy...

I know I am grasping at my sanity here.. This is what trying to have baby #3 and two losses has brought me to, the brink of insanity. Fortunately I dont think I am in the boat alone. I think that alot of girls that are ttc after a loss have been in this boat at one point or another.. I would really just love to get out of this boat and go back to sanity.. Hopefully that will happen soon..

For right now I will sit in my insanity boat until the Dr calls me and agrees to do blood work today and then hopefully he will call me with some fantastic news. Til then its me in my insanity boat twiddling on twigs..