Today is a rough day for me.. The day I have been dreading is Mother's Day. I didnt want to get up this morning and go to church but iI forced myself to anyway. I went to Sunday School and they were studying about Hannah, and how she was barren and the other wife was taunting her about not being able to have children. The teacher said, " can you imagine how horrible that would be? Imagine someone tormenting Lynn (pointing to me) right now. That would just be unimaginable. " I started crying right then. She proceeded with the lesson and I had to choke back the tears, and when we got close to the end and she was talking about how hard today must be fore me, I lost it. I started crying. All of a sudden I was surrounded by 4 ladies (I think there were 4, all I know was I had alot of hands on me) and they started talking to me and saying they dont know how I feel but that they wanted me to know they loved me and supported me, and that they would sit and cry with me. I let it all out.
It took me awhile to get myself together before I could walk into church. And I ended up crying in church too when the pastor was praying and said "all those who have lost a child"..
After church we went to lunch and then back home to exchange gifts. I got a beautiful statue of a sleeping baby to put in my memorial garden for Grace. And I lost it crying all over again. I just want to be left alone now. Left alone to mourn the loss of my baby Grace. : (
God grant me the strength to make it through the rest of this day.
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