This was posted on a message board I frequent for women who have lost babies/pregnancies. The author lost twin boys at the same gestational age that I lost Grace. This explains everything I feel.. I hope she doesnt mind that I borrowed this.
Dear God, You have given me this experience so that I may grow stronger in my faith and in my compassion for others. I ask that You not leave me alone during my time of most need. I hope You understand that the feelings that I am having of anger, frustration, sadness, grief, confusion; along with the thoughts of any blame towards You, are because I do not fully understand your plans for me, and things did not go as I had hoped. Please help me be still in this moment in my life and not become anxious about the future, because I know that You are already there. Just like I must feel pain while a deep physical wound is healing, help me through the pain that I feel in my heart. I know that if I do not allow myself to fully embrace my pain, the deep puncture in my heart might take a very long time to heal, and it will become a burden to me in years to come. I thank you for allowing me to be attacked, just as Job was attacked, so I may learn from these experiences. I am not afraid because I know You are with me, and this state is only temporary. I must not run away from my unpleasant feelings; as it is through violent earthquakes and volcanic eruptions that new lands are born. So allow me to fully feel the anger and frustration in my heart, and help me release it in healthy ways; I must let this erupt so I can move on. Allow me to release the feelings in my heart and the thoughts in my head when they no longer serve a purpose in my life. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
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